Life is so unpredictable

I often feel like I try to live my life to the fullest...I try. I wake up with a positive attitude, I get dressed and pretty every single morning, I play, laugh and have fun. I really do enjoy life, I Love my family and they make it easy to be happy and have fun.

This weekend was a whirlwind of events that all had me thinking. Do I take my life for granted?

Ashton had me scared half to death! he had a bit of an episode where he was listless, UN responsive, and staring off into space. His heart rate was really fast and he was clammy and sweaty and had a fever. He nodded off a few times and after the 3rd or so I called 911. After blood test, urine test, a chest x-ray, an IV of antibiotics, 5 doctors opinions, and 10 hours in the ER he got to come home. With still no answer I did some research and looked back at the situation. I believe he may have had a Complex Partial Seizure. Half of the people with CFC get them, and well I am just not sure how else to explain what happened?

The doctors released him after 4 more hours of waiting last night, and decided he had Pneumonia but just a minor case. But the doctor who called us said he was not confident with that diagnosis because he had no cough and no prior illness (it usually develops after a cold).

The whole experience had me feeling sad, guilty, and overwhelmed with "what ifs" I didn't eat for 2 days and I slept all of 4 hours. (I checked on Ash about every hour after he got home at 2 a.m) I am looking at life differently? I find myself paying more attention to my kids, Ashton included. I am definitely more patient with him I hope it lasts. Elizabeth even looks different! I miss Allura terribly, (camp) and I seem to have more energy than I did. I think maybe I took my life for granted!! so now that this has changed things I will go with the flow...more playtime, less me time. And Ashton is going to have a more patient mommy he deserves it.

I have gotten the "it goes by so fast" remark from many people who's kids have grown up and moved out. I get it now, I need to really appreciate this time in our lives. And appreciate what I have, Ashton.